오유오빠 나야 이쁜이
나는 언니도없고 오빠도 동생도 없어 알잔아 나한텐 오유오빠 밖에 없는거ㅋㅋ 그렇다고 내 술주정 부모님한테 할순 없잔아?ㅠㅠ 나 삼수생인데 오빠보러 맨날 여기온다?? 너무 힘든데 오빠보러오면 그래도 웃게되~~ 내 하루하루가 다 똑같은거 쳇바퀴만 굴리는 햄스터 같은거 오빠도 잘 알고있지? 나 공부하고 그림그리느라 힘든데 오빠라도 있어서 정말 다행이야~~~ 오유오빠 내가 요새 불면증에 걸려서 잠이안와ㅜㅜ 수면유도제를 먹어도 별 소용이 없더라고? 근데 맥주한캔씩 하고 자니까 잠이 좀 오는거 같아...제정신으론 못자겠네.... 술도 참 못하는게...그래도 나 다행인게 화실 원장선생님께서 집안 사정 봐서 학원비 깎아 주시겠데 너무 기뻐...그래도 큰돈 이지만 부모님 부담을 좀 덜어 드리니까 맘이 놓인다....오유오빠....나 재수종합반 학원 다니고 싶어...나도 가르쳐주면 잘핳텐데.....근데 터무늬없이 비싸다 말이되???? 그냥 혼자서 하는게 나을거같아ㅎㅎ...오빠....난 왜이리 지지리도 못나서 공부도못하고 그림도 못그려서 아직까지 대학을 못가고 있을까...? 오빠 나 너무 힘들어....꿈은 높은데 능력이 안되네.... 노력이 부족한 걸꺼야 난 할 수있어....아니 못할 거같아...난 항상 못해왔으니까....나 맨날 같은옷만 입구 다니니까 엄마가 옷좀 사입으래ㅋ...엄마가 괜찮다고 싼거라도 사 입으래ㅋ 내 자신이 초라해 지더라...돈이 아까워서 밥도 김밥아니면 빵만 먹는데....오빠 나는 하루하루 학원비에 생활비에 걱정하며 사는데 같이 삼수하는 친구는 학원도 빠지고 성형도 하고 옷도사고 화장품도 사고......음 내가 이런말 하는거보니까 난 아직 앤가 보다...ㅋㅋ 철이 안들었나봐 아직도......에휴...그래두 잠깐 알바해서 번돈 아직은 조금 남았으니까....오빠...난 그래도행복한 아이야...풍족하진 않지만 부모님도 계시고 화실밖에 못다니지만 공부할수 있는 환경이라도 갖추어 졌으니까...나 참 복에 겨웠다ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ나도 대학간 친구들 처럼 이쁘게 화장하구 옷입고 이쁜구두도 신고 미팅도 하고내가 하고싶은 그림 마음껏 그리고싶어....무엇보다 나 정말 대학엘 가고싶어.......수업듣고싶어...남들이 그렇게 욕을 하는 과제에 치여 살아보고싶어....전에 사귀던 남자친구도 새로운 여자 만나서 잘 지내는데 나는 너무 힘들어...성적은 안오르지....그림은 그릴수록 어렵지......아...나보다 힘든 사람 많은데 나 정말 나약하다...으으 나정도면 정말 행복한건데....누가 보면 비웃겠네...오빠 나 삼수하는데 오빠보러 올시간에 단어하나 더 외워야 하는게 정상인데...그래도 나 내치지 말아줘....오빠땜에 내가 웃으며 산단 말야ㅋ....알지 내맘? 오빠는 날 행복하게해...오빠덕에 웃을수 있어...오빠 내가 술좀 마셔서 그래 이해해ㅋㅋㅋ 아아 오빠 또 올게 나 머리가 아파서그만 자야해..좀따 일어나서 도서관도 가야해 오빠 나 잘되게 빌어주라 나 잘 할수 있다고....난 할수있다고 난 성공할거라고 기도해줘...오빠 나 또 올게 그땐 더 성장할게 그만 울고 더 어른이 되어 돌아올게 그때까지 안녕!♥