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게시물ID : english_8050짧은주소 복사하기
작성자 : 와뉘
추천 : 0
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등록시간 : 2014/01/07 13:53:33

첨삭 해주시면 정말로 감사하겠습니다.

길지는 않으니 한번이라도 읽어주시면 감사하겠습니다.

Instructions: Write a standard, 5 paragraph essay addressing the following topic. You may not use a dictionary. You must include a thesis in your opening paragraph, 3 supporting paragraphs with specific examples and a concluding paragraph. Stay on topic.

 

Topic: Annual Physical Check Ups are Necessary for the Disease Detection. Do you agree or disagree?

 

People want to get healthy body. That is why they always try to exercise and eat and drink good healthy food. Actually, those are not enough. Some people could die from any reasons even though they always exercise and eat and drink healthy food. People need to check up their body annually because they need to get specific information what they have and happen in their body, and also there are several benefits that are preventing huge disease, keeping healthy mental, and saving time and money.

 

First of all, people can prevent huge disease by discovered specific disease what they have in their body. When people go to hospital and check up, they can get their condition of body information. And then their family doctor gives you name of disease and how to manage their life if they have certain small disease. Therefore, they can make a plan for their body and prevent disease for their body on the future.

 

Second of all, people keep to be healthy their mental. When people get huge disease, they are possible to get mental problem at the same time, such as depression, anxiety neurosis, and panic disorder. These mental problems make coming the worst things. Actually, those problems are very common when people get the huge disease. In sum, people should check up their body for their healthy mental.

 

Third of all, people can save their time and money. If someone gets a huge disease, not only patient also their family or friends spend lot of time for patient’s recovering. For example, if father who is head of one’s family is really sick, other people who are his wife, son, and daughter consider about his health. They cannot focus on their own work. Not only try to spend time to care their father but also they spend lot of money from buying high cost of medicine for their father. Therefore, if one wants to save money and time for one’s family, annual physical check-up is essential for one’s family.

 

In conclusion, the check-up is not an option; it is really important to one’s healthy life. Sometimes, people just skip only small thing because of their lazy. Do not skip small happen, it could be the biggest one that you cannot control. The check-up could open for the bright and healthy future and expect to be longer life. 

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