문법같은걸 많이 넣던지(분사구문이라든가)등을해야 라이팅에서 높은 점수를 받는다고해서...

조금이라도괜찮으니 제가 쓴 미흡한 라이팅보시고 조금 다듬어주실분? 왠만하면 문법좀 넣어서 보여주셨으면하네요 ㅜㅜ

There are two way to educate students. The a way is educating with teacher's command. And the other is educating themselves. Some people said If teachers educate student by rote. It makes consistencyof thinking. And Some students often defy to students. But I think students should follow teachers' lecture.

There are two main reason that why I suggest this way.

First, almost students do not want to study themselves. So No one wants to proceed class. Also, In class, There are some deliquent students. So If students take a leadership. Deliquent students disrupt atmosphere of class. And middle school students is in puberty. So they are fussy. So If there are conflicts of opinion . We can't proceed class any more. So student centered class screw all of class up. So student centered class is invalid. And It have a lot of flaw.

But If teacher proceed class. It is more effective than student centered class.

And In Republic of korea, There are public education that Government and educational office designate. Contents of public education is never distorted. So we need teacher to study with professionalism. And If some student's attitude is bad.(조건의 분사구문)Only teacher punish thestudents. So I think, teacher centered student is more effective.

입니다.