원 게시글 :
http://www.todayhumor.co.kr/board/view.php?table=humorbest&no=868766&s_no=868766&kind=search&page=1&keyfield=subject&keyword=%ED%98%84%EC%83%81%ED%99%A9
These translations from the original poster and the following post are excellent and display very high quality writing styles but there are a few changes I would make. I've underlined the changes I made and I also suggest you change the tense to one standard in the whole text. I notice that in some sentences the situation is described in the present tense, but then this changes to the past tense suddenly. Change this and it's perfect.
It's an important subject so I'd be happy to help you further this evening (I'm in Ireland).
-Andrew
The Emergency Headquarters at Jindo has decided to withdraw from the scene. Upon hearing this devastating news, families of the missing students, along with the bereaved families, decided to head to the Blue House(Korean Presidential Residence). The families agreed to rent a bus, but plain-clothes police officers reported their activity. Within minutes, ten police buses arrived, indicating that the police had already been viewing families as potential criminals. The police officers are blocking the path and so the families decided to go to the bus terminal on foot. However, the rented bus was nowhere to be found. The determined families are now walking up to Mokpo, which is over 60km North from Jindo. Currently, all news channels abruptly stopped broadcasting information regarding the ship Sewol and Jindo.