평생을 도망만 치고 살아왔다 철이 들 무렵부터 50초반인 지금까지 그리하여 내 인생은 처절하게 난도질 당하였고 자해라 남을 책망할 수도 없다 애초에 겁이 많게 태어난 놈이었던가 장남이란 책무가 너무 버거웠다 성공할 자신이 없음 성실하기만 해도 족할 것을 자신이 없다하여 모두 망쳐 버리다니 너무 늦은 깨달음이었다 너무 늦긴 했지만 이제 더 이상 도망할 곳이 없어 그럴지도 모르지만 이젠 그만하려 한다 도망간다고 도망칠 수 있는게 아니란걸 늦게나마 깨달았다 곤히 잠드는 그 날까진 도망은 언감생심이다 포기하자 내가 도망을 포기하는 것만이 너무 늦었지만 나와 우리 가족을 위한 일이다 기실 가족들은 이미 오래전부터 포기했을테니만 혹여라도  나를 기억에서 지우지 못한다면 너무 잔인한 일이될거라 그저 좋은 기억 하나라도 남겨두어 못난 내가 아주 가끔 떠오랐을때  그 기억이 힘들지 않게... 그러나 오버하진 말자 어차피 나란놈 제대로 할줄 아는게 없으니 그저 도망만 치지 말자 살다 그만 사는 날까지...