30살이 넘어 찾아온 유.방암...치료시기 마저 놓쳐서 암세포 전이 속도가 빨라졌네요...괜찮겠지하다 가슴에서 겨드랑이로...팔이 마비가 오는게 느껴지고 전기가 찌릿하게 오는게 참 미련했네요...그깟일이 뭐라고...혼자 살다보니 사는거에 치여 방치 했더니 가슴반은 이미 사라진지 오래...피고름 쏟아가면서도 아ㅃㅏ 뒤 따라가겠다고 자살시도도 여러번...그 뒤에 남을 가족 생각두 안한채 말이에요...근데요...이젠 살고 싶어요..치료 잘 하구 수술 잘 할수 있을까요??  겉으론 아무렇지 않은척 가슴이 없어지고 있는데도 전 제 몸 지키지 못했네요...엄마 언니 우는거보니 가슴이 미어지더라구여...ㅋㅋㅋ하하 자식이 건강해서 결혼하는게 효도라는데 30이 넘은지금에 불효를 하네요...웨 말 안했냐고,.그지경 되도록 모했냐고...아빠따라 가고 싶었어요...근데 이젠 살께요...죽을 힘 다해서 치료받고 엄마한테 효도 할께요...지금까지 사고만치고 우울증 올때마다 연락 두절하고...엄마 미안해...이런 못난 딸이라 미안해...아빠와 같은 암이라서 미안해...웨 이런걸 물려주고 떠났냐는 엄마말에 눈물부터 흐르더라 아빠 잘못이 아닌데..내가 아픈건데...저...익명 안할꺼에요 언제든 제가 이글쓴거보고 반성할께요...엄마를 놔두고 먼저 죽으려 했던 나 용서해요...이제 앞으론...가슴에 못박지 않을께요....엄마미안해....아빠....보고싶네요...